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Until It’s Zero is a project sponsored by Hopkins Feminists. It is a space devoted to giving survivors of sexual violence an outlet until such time as the incidence of sexual assault and rape truly is zero.

Although this blog is focused on the JHU community, sexual assault is a widespread problem and every survivor deserves a voice. While we will publish all accounts, we strongly encourage survivors from outside JHU to consider submitting their stories to less specialized locations, such as the We're Telling blog, which is dedicated to sharing accounts of sexual assault and rape from everyone, everywhere.

NOTE: Comments and posts may be triggering.

Resources for Survivors:

RAINN (Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network):

General Site:

Phone Hotline:

Online Hotline

TurnAround (Baltimore, MD)

- offers services for survivors of sexual assault and/or domestic violence

General Site:

Phone Hotline:

The Maryland Coalition Against Sexual Assault (MCASA)

- contains information and resources for survivors, friends of survivors, professionals, and the general public

General Site:

Resources for Survivors

Rape Crisis and Recovery Centers by MD County

JHU Specific:

JHU’s Sexual Assault Response Unit (SARU):

JHU Counseling Center:
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27 April 11

Account #23

Sorry if this is long, I felt like I needed to explain how I ended up being in his room.

I started at JHU in January 2005 when I was 19.  Three weeks in I was drinking with some friends in a row house near campus. I spoke to my roommate who said there was a party upstairs and I should go and check it out. I went upstairs, dropped off my alchol in another apartment and walked over the apartment directly above mine. I thought my friends were with me but they had gone outside for a smoke. I spoke to some people at the party and was pretty drunk by this point. I kept trying to write on a girls face so she wrote on mine. I walked over to the sink that was outside of three bedrooms to wash it off. My male friend who was at the party came over and spoke to me. A guy came out of his room behind us with his camera. He took a photo and my friend and I and then went to the bathroom. I ran into his room and started jumping up and down on his bed laughing. My friend laughed and said he had to go because everyone was leaving for the bar. I sat down on the bed and tried to look at the music that was playing on the laptop.

The guy came back from the bathroom, closed the door and turned off the light. He unzipped his pants and told me to suck him. I said that I couldn’t because I had a boyfriend. I kept saying that I couldn’t and I didn’t want to, but he didn’t listen. I was really drunk at this point and remember feeling very dizzy and slurry. He forced his penis in my mouth and told me to suck. He pulled out his camera and took pictures of me. He held the back of my head so i couldn’t pull away and then would take his hand away when he took the picture.

He then rolled me onto the bed, took off my pants and my shirt then ripped off my bra. He kept taking pictures of me. The room was dark and all I could see were flashes. I tried to grab the camera and was begging his to stop. He held the camera above his head and laughed at me. He pushed me back onto the bed onto my side. He then forced his hand into my vagina and took pictures. I was in so much pain, I tried to take out his hand but the more I tried the harder he pushed it in me. I stopped trying to take his hand out of me and pulled him on top of me. He pushed his penis inside me but it wasn’t hard. I remember rolling him over so I was on top of him. I took off my boyfriends ring and started to kiss him. I didn’t want to get hurt anymore and was terrified. I guess even before it was over I believed it was my fault.

A few seconds later I jumped up put on my clothes and told him that he had to delete the pictures and if he did I wouldn’t tell anymore. I was really really dizzy at this point and was looking over his shoulder trying to see if he was deleting them. I didn’t think he was but was really too drunk to be able to tell.

 When I contacted Hopkins police, they more or less said “It was off campus, call the Baltimore City police.”  It was even worse when I called the city police.  It turned out that he hadn’t deleted the pictures at all.  When the police investigated the rape. he produced two pictures that showed me “willingly” giving him oral sex.  The detective assigned to the case told me he only had time for “real rapes.”

Themed by Hunson. Originally by Josh